Monday 14 May 2007

Ab ovo usque ad mala

"From the egg right to the apples. Horatius 65-8 B.C.





Due to a surfeit of chicken, Rudrina (Rudra's feminine aspect) is in need of bodily balance. We learn that a trip to the Indian Sub-continent is in prospect and that she has availed of the following offer:


SUMMER DISCOUNT ON PANCHKARMA TREATMENT
It is to inform you that summer discount @ 25% on total cost of Panchkarma Treatment covering the period from 15th May 2007 to 31st August 2007 has been approved. Please send your kit & kin for availing the good opportunity and take the Panchkarma Treatment and inform the other persons also who are not enjoying this facility during the season time so that the paucity of time would not affect.

Kit and kin have been duly notified as we are sure that the paucity of time will not affect.

Rudra himself is preparing for an Amazonion adventure and taking all possible precautions against the Phoneutria Nigriventer*. (Investigations report that men bitten by the Phoneutria Nigriventer experienced priapism - long and painful erections.)

*You find this species in the southern and southeast of Brazil and in parts of northern Argentina.

2 comments:

Chaiwallah said...

Ab origine ad ova......O tempora, O'Malley.....

The feeblest excuse for directing your attention to the nature of the origin of the Universe, and the paucity of Time:
From "The Ballad of Grimley Moer"

A time there was, e'er time began
When all was dark and gloomy,
Across the face of empty space
A sign read "REALLY ROOMY -

"THIS VACANT SUITE IS VOID BUT NEAT
NO PREVIOUS DESECRATION,
THE VIEW IS FREE, THE COSMIC SEA
AWAITS YOUR OCCUPATION."

Arose therein a pint of gin
And a trembling hand that held it,
And soon arose a scarlet nose
That sniffed the gin and smelled it.

Within the vasty vacant void
The being came in focus -
A drunken god, who waved his rod
In febrile hocus-pocus.

"Oh soddit," said the drunk divine,
"There's something I've forgotten.
An egg that's raw to soothe my craw,
This gin is cheap and rotten."

He slumpered down,and on his crown
A light-bulb briefly flickered,
"My head is whirled, let's make a world,"
He farted, belched, and snickered.

He waved his rod, and from its knob
There sprung a blazing stream
Of stardust, which he swallowed with
The gin, his eyes a-gleam.

He swelled, he grew, he quickly knew
He'd picked his cosmic clover,
He bloated, burst and roundly cursed -
His drinking days were over.

And out there spread from his scattered head
A dreamscape bright and starry.
Above, bright blue, with silvery hue,
Beneath, the void, all tarry.

Among the stars and galaxies
That spun in drunken rapture,
One small blue world serenely furled
With no idea of capture.

But gods are strangely jealous, yes,
They need tough wives to keep
Them partly sober through the day
And out of sozzled sleep.

So, jealously, another god
Who'd lost his invitation
And had gate-crashed the sad gin-fest,
Surveyed this new creation.

His name meant Dreadful Swallower,
The heavenly garbage cleaner,
And as gods went he liked to go,
But jogging kept him leaner.

He saw the stars and galaxies
Expanding like a bubble.
He said "This lot from that drunken sot
Can only lead to trouble."

He grabbed his cup and scooped them up,
And in one gulp he swallowed
The drunken god's celestial bods
Not caring what ill followed.

So to this day the starry way
Is dark. There is no question,
But heavenly hues and soulful blues
Are swallower's indigestion.

And everywhere there's friendly hair
And suits in stripes of pin,
You know you're with the servants of
The gods of Ori Gin."A time there was, e'er time began
When all was dark and gloomy,
Across the face of empty space
A sign read "REALLY ROOMY -

"THIS VACANT SUITE IS VOID BUT NEAT
NO PREVIOUS DESECRATION,
THE VIEW IS FREE, THE COSMIC SEA
AWAITS YOUR OCCUPATION."

Arose therein a pint of gin
And a trembling hand that held it,
And soon arose a scarlet nose
That sniffed the gin and smelled it.

Within the vasty vacant void
The being came in focus -
A drunken god, who waved his rod
In febrile hocus-pocus.

"Oh soddit," said the drunk divine,
"There's something I've forgotten.
An egg that's raw to soothe my craw,
This gin is cheap and rotten."

He slumpered down,and on his crown
A light-bulb briefly flickered,
"My head is whirled, let's make a world,"
He farted, belched, and snickered.

He waved his rod, and from its knob
There sprung a blazing stream
Of stardust, which he swallowed with
The gin, his eyes a-gleam.

He swelled, he grew, he quickly knew
He'd picked his cosmic clover,
He bloated, burst and roundly cursed -
His drinking days were over.

And out there spread from his scattered head
A dreamscape bright and starry.
Above, bright blue, with silvery hue,
Beneath, the void, all tarry.

Among the stars and galaxies
That spun in drunken rapture,
One small blue world serenely furled
With no idea of capture.

But gods are strangely jealous, yes,
They need tough wives to keep
Them partly sober through the day
And out of sozzled sleep.

So, jealously, another god
Who'd lost his invitation
And had gate-crashed the sad gin-fest,
Surveyed this new creation.

His name meant Dreadful Swallower,
The heavenly garbage cleaner,
And as gods went he liked to go,
But jogging kept him leaner.

He saw the stars and galaxies
Expanding like a bubble.
He said "This lot from that drunken sot
Can only lead to trouble."

He grabbed his cup and scooped them up,
And in one gulp he swallowed
The drunken god's celestial bods
Not caring what ill followed.

So to this day the starry way
Is dark. There is no question,
But heavenly hues and soulful blues
Are swallower's indigestion.

And everywhere there's friendly hair
And suits in stripes of pin,
You know you're with the servants of
The gods of Ori Gin."A time there was, e'er time began
When all was dark and gloomy,
Across the face of empty space
A sign read "REALLY ROOMY -

"THIS VACANT SUITE IS VOID BUT NEAT
NO PREVIOUS DESECRATION,
THE VIEW IS FREE, THE COSMIC SEA
AWAITS YOUR OCCUPATION."

Arose therein a pint of gin
And a trembling hand that held it,
And soon arose a scarlet nose
That sniffed the gin and smelled it.

Within the vasty vacant void
The being came in focus -
A drunken god, who waved his rod
In febrile hocus-pocus.

"Oh soddit," said the drunk divine,
"There's something I've forgotten.
An egg that's raw to soothe my craw,
This gin is cheap and rotten."

He slumpered down,and on his crown
A light-bulb briefly flickered,
"My head is whirled, let's make a world,"
He farted, belched, and snickered.

He waved his rod, and from its knob
There sprung a blazing stream
Of stardust, which he swallowed with
The gin, his eyes a-gleam.

He swelled, he grew, he quickly knew
He'd picked his cosmic clover,
He bloated, burst and roundly cursed -
His drinking days were over.

And out there spread from his scattered head
A dreamscape bright and starry.
Above, bright blue, with silvery hue,
Beneath, the void, all tarry.

Among the stars and galaxies
That spun in drunken rapture,
One small blue world serenely furled
With no idea of capture.

But gods are strangely jealous, yes,
They need tough wives to keep
Them partly sober through the day
And out of sozzled sleep.

So, jealously, another god
Who'd lost his invitation
And had gate-crashed the sad gin-fest,
Surveyed this new creation.

His name meant Dreadful Swallower,
The heavenly garbage cleaner,
And as gods went he liked to go,
But jogging kept him leaner.

He saw the stars and galaxies
Expanding like a bubble.
He said "This lot from that drunken sot
Can only lead to trouble."

He grabbed his cup and scooped them up,
And in one gulp he swallowed
The drunken god's celestial bods
Not caring what ill followed.

So to this day the starry way
Is dark. There is no question,
But heavenly hues and soulful blues
Are swallower's indigestion.

And everywhere there's friendly hair
And suits in stripes of pin,
You know you're with the servants of
The gods of Ori Gin."

Chaiwallah said...

Oh dear, A thousand apologies for not having checked the copy. Double trouble, or was it treble?